Rest

I've been learning a lot about rest of late, primarily because I've been informed I "have" to. It's an interesting reality... and I feel the need for the rest more now than I did at the beginning. It's hard to say if that's because my body is needing the rest more than it did previously, or if I've just become aware of it's quiet pleadings.

After all the hours I've spent laying on my couch, I've become aware of how much I need it. The weird part is not knowing whether I need it for the me that is right now, or something more. There's a certainty growing in me that I will be wanting and needing *rest* even after I've recovered. I have a lot of dreams for the years ahead, so it's interesting to change my view of those dreams to include rest.

I find myself pondering how we've got to this point. We move at an ever increasing speed, shoving more and more into every minute. We cheat ourselves in so many areas because of the drive to fit everything into the right now. I've always wanted perfection out of myself, a perfection that was surely accessible if only I thew myself into it whole heartedly. Now I realize that I can't be everything I wanted to... at least not at the levels that I always wanted to be. The only way to be perfect at anything is to cheat something else in order to do so.

I'm accepting the fact that not only will I not live up to my "if only" dreams of myself, but also societies expectations. I'm becoming aware of how abnormal the making-room-for-rest paradigm is. As I read up about how much stress is a factor in soooo many illnesses, I guess the mainstream mindset isn't that surprising.